Old and wrinkled.

So today I had the great fortune of sharing a conversation with my awesome cousin...We'll call him "Geeza" to protect the man.  ;) ok fine if you read my Facebook you will find out who Geeza is and can harass him appropriately...

Ok so we talk and laugh and have a great conversation about kids, health, and all the safe topics and then there is that pause... so I say " So.....what else is new?"       his reply?

"Well actually (pause)   the reason I called you is.... my lady friend ( we'll call her that because it sounds so much more alluring than girlfriend) has just started selling... (DUN DUN DUN! uh oh)
this new product...and I don't know much about it but its some sort of "Anti wrinkle cream" or some business...(record scratching pause...wait what?) but its supposed to be amazing enough that (big skin corporation I wont mention) is going to back it and .....yada yada yada...he keeps talking but my brain is already stuck.

Soooooo your lady friend is selling ANTI WRINKLE CREAM and you thought of ME? What the H. E. double hockey sticks cuz.... what are you trying to say?

hmmm... he is my cousin after all and it is technically my JOB to make his life a little bit uncomfortable so what do I do? I bust his chops a bit.... :)

"what are you trying to say here Geeza? Anti wrinkle Cream? and my face popped into your head? I mean come on I get that I'm not young but..."

To which I get the ever common back peddling reply.... "no, no, NO! Thats not it! Its just that I know how Vain (he actually emphasized the word vain in reference to me) you are and how you are always doing the eyelashes and weight loss, and diet pills and stuff and well....(I can hear that he is sweating a bit...evil grin)

"WHAT? ...I'm VAIN? Vain AND fat? sheesh Geeza! is that what you really think of me? I'm so offended right now! ( and I continue giving him grief and acting offended while he struggles for the right words....think about it Geeza....be careful....choose your words wisely!)


I give him about 2 minutes of heat before I laugh and say " Thanks Geeza, I get it...I'll TOTALLY try the stuff...send your lady friend my info...( can physically FEEL his relief through the phone waves)

He gives me a few more stats...tells me what he remembers her saying about the product and we end the conversation on a good note... but I failed to say to him what needed to be said... and that is:

THANKS GEEZA for being a concerned enough cousin that you want to keep my smokin hot momma status wrinkle free... I'll try to forget about the diet pills comment...but sleep with one eye open!

Lesson you should take from this post? Men...choose your words CAREFULLY a fully trained evil diva can turn those words and manipulate them into ANYTHING she wants... and THATS WHAT SHE SAID!